I saw a girl on the street holding a hockey stick and thought to myself what the puck

rate that

wink daddy

thinking the liquor store salesman is continuously winking at you as you discuss fine dessert wines then realize he only has one eye

B+

I liked the attention but it's better this way

your roommate's friend pissing on your space heater in the winter 4/20 because he thought it was the bathroom and now you're gonna be so cold

your roommate's friend pissing on the uninstalled air conditioner in the corner of the room in the summer 20/20 because that's his vision, he did it on purpose to make you sweat

jwoww talkin honest about her antacid meds

omeprazole (prilosec) 9/10
i take 40 milligrams of it every day for my ulcer and sometimes an extra 20 milligrams and it does the trick by coating my stomach with chemical. it takes a while to build up in your system. without it i slowly get in more and more pain until i am curled up in a ball


lansoprazole (prevacid) 2/10
brad a new medication in cute capsules so i figured it would fly but its shit in my hair




caesar salad pizza at lui luis and fernando pessoa's the book of disquiet 9/10
its like the one time we ate the Caesar salad pizza at Lui Lui' s, bitch please, 8 dollars for a single bar, everything country prices not in a good way if you dont know then you dont know what the fuck is wrong with the world, crossing my legs and my eeyes never on purpose




ranitidine (zantac) 4/10
it fucks you in the long run it fucks you in the long run

cimetidine (tagamet) 7/10
this is some quick acting, im babysitting a purple fish who likes rap and i need to get more food for the fish and i need to get more cimetidine but i think im just gonna get the food for the fish because its purple, if you catch my drift




oh yeah calcium carbonate (tums) 8/10
call me Bitchin, call me xtra strength 750 dime rock in the dam stem

7 Cool Hobbies to Try With Your Boyfriend 2/7

http://allwomenstalk.com/7-cool-hobbies-to-try-with-your-boyfriend/

We're just all looking for a good time folks.
great intro:

Have you ever noticed that some couples seem to have such a great time doing things together? It’s likely because they’re not always doing an activity or pursuing a hobby the girl wants to do — they’re probably doing things they both want to do! If you want to try a hobby your boyfriend might like, I can help! Here’s a list to give you some ideas…

#1 Homebrewing: sure I guess, but can't face up to being that couple in the picture. No offense.
#2 Target Shooting: I appreciate them really going for this one
#3 Rock Climbing: pfffffright
#4 Flag Football: with who?
#5 Golf: If I knew where local mini golf was, do you think I would even be looking at this list?
#6 Rock Band: so great. Like the video game Rock Band.
#7 Fishing: This one would be pretty nice if I wasn't surrounded by concrete and poison all the time.

Dead Prez: Revolutionary but Gangsta Grillz mixtape- Street rating: a friendly high five

Am I the only one who didn’t know that Dead Prez puts out mixtapes? It blew my mind to think about them on a DJ drama mixtape over tracks used by Drake, Gucci Mane, Lloyd Banks and Pat Benetar. The mixtape format works really well here too: Dead Prez takes songs about, you know, stuntin’ and bonin’ and flossin’ and stuff and raps over every one about way realer shit, I mean if you listen to Dead Prez you already know what they‘re going to say here. “Beamer Benz or Bentley” becomes “Malcom, Garvey, Huey”, there's more rhymes about raising the children they have, "ghetto gospel with a little T-pain", and the whole thing ends with the sound of a bong rip.

Will.I.AM &Nicki minaj-Check it out- 7.7/10

So I'm home from work, blazin up and trying to get some work done on youtube, and I go for this (I was gonna say "take a chance" but shit, this one's a no brainer this time of night). Ignore the horrible Asian minstrel showish element cause that'll just bring you down, same with the track, it hurts to hear "Video killed the Radio Star" have the sugar squeezed out of it, it was rally just a matter of time. Nicki comes on and she's like what Queen Amidala really was in real life, it's great. Will.i.am (is he gay by the way?) veers in with that same stupid "this beat is hot" filler wearing that hat, and those dancers are stretchin around am I'm like fuck it, I thought this shit was so lame a moment ago but maybe I should just surrender to it, I mean Nicki Minaj can only dance it one way,like a robot, and she does it every video. And then it's a little too much, and Will.i.am says "niggerific" and SHOWS YOU HIS EYES and wait I'm watching it again and I forgot about the cartoon part, and will.i.am just used a rhyme I thought up today "kill it" with "skillet" and I really don't know. He plays air synth at the end.