Living In Rage

Why Living In Rage Is For You:

      Imagine the merciless jerk you've always fantasized about becoming. You are pushed aside and ignored, given bad directions, locked out in the rain, saddened by your own organs, unable to find the brand you prefer, deceived while growing up, and tortured by your boss/parents/partner/society/football team/customer service representative. You've resisted giving yourself over to the ferocious power bitterly rising within by weathering the tortures of this cruel reality like a modern-day saint, and without the appreciation you deserve. It's time you truly understand how right it is to be mad. Go ahead. Be mad. I'm mad. Anyone who is paying attention should be mad. Welcome to the beginning of Living in Rage.

      Reader, perhaps you have picked up this instructional course as a passing curiosity, or seen it briefly mentioned in our media hellscape and wished to investigate. Maybe you accidentally stumbled upon this instructional course in your quest to read A Rage to Live or Living With Rage. Could be you have opened this book because a swelling, lavish anger has made itself known in your life, and certain people around you have encouraged you to remove this part of your character like an unfortunate vestigial organ. Possibly some court system or coercive force from friends or family have pushed you into seeking “solutions” to the virulent force that boils in your throat even now. Perhaps you already feel the heady truth in a swell of passionate bile thrumming up through your body like an infusion of animal power from another dimension. However you have arrived here, I urge you to stay and explore this wild and determined spirit that inhabits you, and seek a higher self that can be accessed with my system of self-improvement. If this is not your intention, or you don't feel up to embracing your inner strength, you are free to fuck off, weakling.

About Me:

      I would never have imagined, years ago, just one of a few angry men violently taking control of our Rageoholics Anonymous group, that I was building a philosophy that could help others, and I never could have dreamed, when I was just another anger coach roaring and smashing things in the dark of my ex-wife's garden shed, that I would be part of a world-wide movement. I guess it's all just a testament to the power of rage, which has brought us so much.

   I was encouraged in these early years to record my revelations, a suggestion by my then friend and colleague, the pathetic rat fuck David Barbaro, who has now shown his true colors and who can rot in Hell with the rest of his minions in the Cult of Fury, which is a lifeless charade propagated by phonies who deserve to be crushed like maggots. As the crowds at my talks, demonstrations, rampages and arrests grew, I became more adept at tapping deeply into the rage inside me, and I realized I had become part of something greater than myself. One night, on hold with my cable company while watching network news coverage and trying to open the plastic packaging around a pair of headphones with my bare hands, I had a transcendent experience. I was sobbing and hyperventilating, smashing my most treasured possessions and breaking down some wall by hand, when suddenly a new white-hot gateway of seething wrath opened inside me and I found myself in a place of limitless rage, pure and ever-flowing. No other emotion had ever filled me with such holy purpose: rage gave me a sense of entitled righteousness, made surety rise within me, and narrowed my path to one inevitable choice. I believe this eternal furnace of avarice is inside all of us, available to any who seek, and given generously to those with access to motor traffic or a capitalist society.

      So if you're wondering about that new lump, looking at your savings, glaring at the front of the line, missing interpersonal signals, making beginner's mistakes (that any goddamn fucking idiot would avoid), getting stupid mail, wasting your time with someone who doesn't care, and a billion other unavoidable realities of life, it's time you choose spite. Choose avarice. Choose rancor. I'm not asking you to give up on the world, I'm saying put your money on a different horse.

Why You Should Embrace Rage:

      Rage is a superpower. For one thing, it instantly makes you right about everything. It throws your whole life into perspective and connects you to the now. It casts aside the inhibiting power of others and justifies all your needs. Rage can easily overcome fear, logic, self-preservation, even love. It is is a power source that perpetuates itself and is easily spread. Negative feedback from aggressive anger only feeds that anger further. Rage builds on itself; it self-replicates, multiplies. New sources of rage lay around you, waiting to be tapped: keys fall through plumbing, umbrellas are unfaithful, people blame you for your failures, bad deals sit in their paperwork and plan your future, sex turns despotic and unrevealing, motor traffic is arbitrary and cruel, food probes our neuroses and television fills us with a passive exhaustion that makes us better and better at giving up.

In the following book, you'll find:

• The Living in Rage Activity Booklet: A series of written activities where readers can fill in instructive lists such as Things Everybody Gets to Have Except Me, Reasons I'm Not Rich, and People Who Are Fucking It Up For the Rest of Us. Embark on personal exploration with The Failures Reflected Back In the Eyes of Your Partner, and Past Opportunities That Could Have Made Everything Different worksheets.

• The Cultivation of Rage Zones: A guide to securing a hole for yelling into, a tree you can strike, a nearby animal you can threaten, or the art of spontaneously using a public space to talk to yourself out loud in that special tone you use when you become a conduit for greater forces.

• Tips For Maintaining Rage: Fatigue often slows down productive sessions, so this course provides simple tips like staying at a job or turning on a computer, to more developed practices like mantras of bitterness and regrets to feed and cling to.

Testimonials from Readers:

“I used to try and find common ground when I spoke to others about politics. Now I devote twenty-five hours a week to lifting huge weights and combat training while I listen to angry talk radio. You should see how powerful I get when someone disagrees with me on the internet!”

-Ryan S. 

“It's like there's pieces of me licking other pieces of me across the hot rim of all surfaces. I'm probably ruining the neighbors' marriage through the wall with all the rotten thoughts and bad movement I'm cultivating.”

-Matt Z.

“Thanks to Living in Rage, I've stopped going to therapy, and now instead I walk around on rainy days and stomp on my face's reflection in puddles.”

-Brendan B.

   So join the seething ranks, and become a part of the problem. There is an infinite, everlasting source of anger that calls to each person from the beyond. Existence is unjust, and we can feel this basic truth under the surface at all times, calling us to the true path. Reach out and embrace this higher force; the energy behind all creation. It's not important that you recognize this force as some established, institutional god; I have many followers who do not wish to worship any personified god of mainstream religion, but instead rely on a more personal Higher Power, an eternal wellspring of madness to tap into and maintain their connection to anger. In my book I'll show you how to embrace and seek this limitless channel of holy rage and use it in your day-to-day life. One thing I've always enjoyed about anger is that it is a one-size-fits-all solution. From solving problems at the airport and on the street to dealing with parents, or getting what you think you want from your spouse (just ask my sixth wife, Lana), anger instills you with a charisma and confidence you've always wanted, and even works for a pathetic miscreant like yourself, dummy.